Smile
by The Knightingale
Summary: The best smile in the world for me...is the smile meant for me. Because of me.


I stared at the door of her apartment for a long time. I can't bring myself to ask her _that._ But I have to. I know I don't have to wait for things from worse to get even worse than before. Somebody needs to knock some sense to her and if it's going to be me, I'll...have no choice but to accept.

"I was so shocked to see Kyouya-senpai shout like that." Kaoru's voice was barely audible in my mind. My thoughts drowned his words...but I pretended to listen intently to what he's actually saying.

"Yeah..." one word from her mouth and I'm back to earth. I looked at her. Right now, she wasn't in her usual Ouran-look...and that change in her was because of _him._ To help him, that is.

"But right now, blaming the headmaster is not going to help _Tamaki-senpai_ and I have the feeling that somehow, we're misunderstanding something." she continued, her eyes glinting.

That name again. Why do I always hear that name from her? I want to tell her that I want to hear my name this time, that I'm having some troubles too and she should worry also worry about me...but I know that's not the right time to rant about this. And there's never going to be a right time.

My brother also stood there, silent for a moment. And his reason is most probably different from mine. But I know he still knows what I'm feeling.

My emotions are quite mixed up. Things are getting a bit offhand. The club's gone. Our bond is getting weaker by the minute. Tono's life is in shambles. His family is getting ruined. Ruined by his own father. And we can only watch. We can't do anything. I want to help Tono. He's the reason why our life became happier, much wider, much better... That's why I want to help him. He made the first change in our life. If it wasn't for him, we could never have met them... met _her. _Right now, that idiot is weak and I know that a small ray of light can at least help boost his strength. She's the only one who can make that stupid blond realize things he needs to realize.

I need to tell her. I need to clear things out. Now.

_But..._

After Kaoru spoke something about Haruhi should better eat something...I knew this is it. I have to speak up.

_But if I tell her..._

After the brunette's silent answer, I spoke. This is it. If I mess this up, I'll never have the chance to say it again. It's going to be too late and things will get harder for him, for her and for everyone else.

"Kaoru...I'm sorry..." I reached the back of my neck awkwardly and continued my speech. "...Could you...".

But before I could say anything, he turned his back and walked down the stairs saying he'll wait in the car.

He sure is my brother. He understood me. Thank God.

"Hikaru?" she looked at me, confusion and curiosity written on her face. She must be wondering what I want to talk about-_in private._

"I already asked you this once, but I want a _clear answer_ from you..." I told her rather seriously. I can feel a tightening feeling in my chest.

I should ask her right now.

Straight to the point, Hikaru, straight to the point! This is not the right time to be flinching and showing cowardice.

" Are you in love with Tono?" those words escaped my lips even though I don't want them to come out yet. _Baka! (Idiot!)_

It took her a moment to answer. Shit. Am I giving her a hard time? Oh Hikaru, you're so stupid, stupid, stupid! You should've asked Kaoru to do it for you or something. Damn.

"Yes." it broke the awkward silence. And came like a strong blow on my face...like a jab or punch or whatever you call it.

My heart felt a pang of pain, it shattered into a million pieces. Her words were agonizing.

Who told you to expect her to say 'No', anyway, Hikaru? Ugh, you're _so_ stupid. Of course she'll say yes. Now stop your drama, compose yourself and do your mission!

What should I say now? What?

Wait... something is wrong with _her_ face...

"I see. Well I..." _knew from the start you love Tono and I'm so stupid to still like you!_ "...knew, in a way. But as expected. Yeah..."

What the hell did I say again? I think it didn't made any sense. Oh fuck hell and everything in it. My mouth probably got a mind of its own, dammit. If I didn't have enough power to control my tongue-

"Haruhi, I love you." those words just popped out. Shit. I better start a reunion between my stupid, suddenly-uncontrollable mouth and my weird brain. Gee.

My amber eyes looked on her brown pools to see what expression it will bestow. They are calm yet... when you look in her eyes' depths, confusion can be faintly seen.

I think I'm so screwed up. Damn it. I have to straighten things out. Right now.

"But it's okay. _I'm over it_. That's why...Haruhi, you must tell Tono that you love him!" it took me a lot of my willpower to say that. Without stammering. Yes Haruhi...tell Tono what you really, _really_ feel before it's too late. Before my stupidity boosts up again and gives another go at a war I already lost.

Her eyes widened. I don't know if what I said freaked her out or something. But I can sense that something clunks into the right place just right now. Her face seems to brighten up a little.

When you clash your eyes into her hazel-brown ones, you'll see sadness and happiness mixed up.

Err...did I do something wrong? Oh, I shall never follow you instinct. Never ever.

Then she laughed. Not the laughter normal people do. It's quick and quiet...and gloomy.

What's happening to Haruhi? Did my face look like some chimpanzee ready to cry?

"Tamaki-senpai only thinks of me as his daught-

"Stop it, Haruhi. You know he doesn't. He freakin' doesn't." I snapped back. I didn't know what made me do it. The irritation _(due to Haruhi's $#!*! reaction after the speech that almost cost me my life...)_? Or how hurt I'm feeling right now (after all those things, who wouldn't be hurt, huh?)? Or maybe she pretending to be stupid which is so good for her-not!

Then the most ear deafening silence came. I looked through those thick glasses, straight to her eyes, again. It seems to be the only solution to read behind those lies.

Her face frowned. She's in a deep thought. She's struggling.

"...Tell me...how can you love a person when all you can do is look and not help...?" her words are too quiet.

"When the darkest moment of that person came, he'll be glad to see even a small path of light that can make him realize...he's not alone. That you'll be there for him." _And I want to be that guy in the darkness right now._

I can't take it anymore. The words I'm saying are hurting me. Damn to all who invented these words. "Jaa~!('Bye!)"

I turned my back and went down the steps slowly. But I want to hurry. I don't know myself anymore. I...wish I'm a moron. To be like Tamaki.

_I want her to think of me always. I want her to have me in her mind forever._

_I want her to say my name. I want to hear her call out to me and tell me those three syllabled phrase._

_I want her to be always by my side in times of sorrow._

_I want her to see me in a different way. Not just a classmate, a friend, a close friend, a brother but...something else._

_I love her...and that'll never change._

_I told her I'm over it but no, I guess not. I don't think I'm going to be over it. _

_But for now, that's all she needs to know. There are more important things to have in mind._

_If I told her I'm still in love with her...I'll just make things complicated. Very complicated._

_I just have to bear with pain for a while...but this pain will disappear if I see Haruhi...and everyone will be happy again._

As soon as I completely descended the steps, I looked at the car but to my surprise, Kaoru was outside, resting his back on the sides of the black limo.

I inhaled deeply and exhaled loudly. I gazed at the eyes so similar to mine but it's not looking back at me. He's gaping at the sky...? Why?

I looked towards the direction he's looking at, curiosity overpowering me. And my were reflected by those blank, chocolate eyes. She's looking directly at me, though I can't really see clearly since she's rather far.

Then her mouth moved.

"Thank you, Hikaru." she said rather cheerfully. Her lips curved into a smile. A serene smile. The most wonderful smile I ever saw.

I felt my heart jump, flutter. She's _smiling at me_. And this time, the reason for her smiles is..._me._

...

_Because of me._

* * *

**AUTHOR'S** *cross this one out*AWESOME*cross this one out* **NOTE**

I'm so happy this fan-fiction was almost the same as what had happened with Ouran.

And take note I wrote this before those pages came out (What's with being so defensive?)! Ha ha ha ha :)

_I need to have this beta-fied, though. _SPELLING ERRORS/ GRAMAR ERRORS suck T_T

Reviews are highly appreciated!

*By the way, I'm so excited with what is going to happen. Are you?*


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